Someone once said, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry,” but that guy was from Brooklyn. Midwesterners say sorry at least fifty different ways. They’ll even interchange it with hello...and goodbye. Speaking of goodbyes, those can last for hours in the Midwest...sometimes days if you’re not prepared.

That’s where The Midwest Survival Guide comes in. It will keep some poor soul from missing their flight to Burbank because an epic Midwest goodbye turned into an impromptu trip to deer camp. But this book is just as much for Midwest natives as it is for outsiders. There are 12 states to cover, and each one comes with its own unique quirks, culture, and truck stops. Could you imagine living in the Midwest your entire life and not know the proper order of “ope,” “geez,” and “sorry”? That’s like forgetting your date’s name. At some point, it’s no longer appropriate to ask.